Open Thread: Are You Getting Good Support?

Hi Abby, I have been self employed as an independant contractor for over 20 years now. Because I work from home my family still thinks I don’t have a real job. I try not to let this get to me but I think sometimes it makes me less motivated. It’s hard to take your self seriously when no one else does. I read a lot of positive stuff to keep focused. But it is a challenge for me and it seems like it always will be.

I think I have a mix of supporters and people who just don’t know how to respond. As far as who “gets it”…not really any in real life.

My wife is by far the closest to getting it, but she’ll admit that she could be just as happy either way. I think it’s just so foreign to so many people and neither of us have ever seen anyone do it in real life. Sure, we’ve all heard of people or read about them, but no one in the real world that you know and can go to coffee (or to a bar) with.

I admit that it’s hard for me sometimes too to think that this is possible. But I think Lady Gaga said it best in her recent interview in Rolling Stones; whenever she begins to doubt herself she says, “Bitch, you’re Lady Gaga! Get up and walk the walk!” (Hopefully that doesn’t offend anyone, just too good to censor!)

I’m sure I’m the only one on the planet that feels this way though. (read: sarcasm)

i have lots of support from friends…family is another thing entirely…they roll their eyes and shake their heads mostly LOL…i so agree with David…most people think i’m crazy, or at least delusional, trying to build a business online that will support me financially!!!

i do know several people that i can go have coffee with that are earning a living, some are earning a really good living, online. they keep me inspired every day especially when i begin to roll my eyes at myself

I am blessed to have a lot of support from my family. They wish me well and tell me how proud they are of me for taking risks to build my business. I actually come from a family of entrepreneurs – they are exceptional role models, taking chances and succeeding – they have told me time and time again, “get out from under other people’s wings, be independent, share yourself and your talents with the world”. As I look at my grandfather, aunts and uncles and my mother and their successful businesses I feel a bit of pressure to succeed. I actually feel as though I would be letting my family and myself down if I didn’t take on the challenge of running my own business. How can I truly show what I am made of and know how much I am capable of accomplishing if I don’t do this? As I am poised to take my business to the next level this summer, my husband has been the greatest support – he has chosen to become involved in the decision-making even though he has a demanding job of his own. I couldn’t do it without his daily support and encouragement. I am so grateful for a partner who is truly walking through life’s journey with me.

{Please bear with me: As I type this I am mawhing down a burrito topped with fresh guacamole (thank you, Ina!) and salsa, so forgive any typos or grammar missteps.}

I consider myself to be very blessed to have the support of my family & friends with our creative ventures. Especially my husband. He is certainly my biggest fan and biggest encourager. He is straight & honest with me when I need to hear it {pulling me out of the depths of despair & self doubt at times!} and is lovingly supportive of our dreams & aspirations for our studio.

I am also so blessed and so grateful to have a few close, endearing friends who truly “get” me. On a soulful level. I love that they know the whole of me – They are a kindred part of my journey.

And there have been a handful of naysayers along the way. Those that just don’t understand our industry or what we do. I am actually grateful for them, too. Their naysaying and critiquing actually pushes me to dig deeper & climb higher. Their “no” is my “yes”! I become impassioned and resolute to hold tight to our dream and lavish in each step along the way.

@Annette — Congrats on the launch of your blog, lady! {And you’d think after 20 years of successful independent contracting your fam would realize that um, yeah, this is working for you!

@David — I love that Lady Gaga quote! Makes me smile every time i read it somewhere. Sounds like part of your own personal heroic destiny will be showing family and friends that it’s entirely possible to create a total living and a great lifestyle from what you’re passionate about. {I say this as is I’m living the dream at this moment. I am not. I am on my way. And I have faith. If someone can do it — and we see evidence all around us everyday that people ARE doing it — than we can do it.} Right?

@Rebecca/Cre8Tiva — How neat to have a live support system of creative entrepreneurs to grab coffee with. I like that!

@Janelle — ““get out from under other people’s wings, be independent, share yourself and your talents with the world” That’s a beautiful credo to have been raised with. And how awesome that your husband is right there in your entrepreneurial mix with you. My boyfriend is also a small business owner/entrepreneur but his vision is far from creative — he is very nuts-and-bolts-y, dollars-and-cents-y, which is why he’s on the path to success. I’m actually glad he’s this way because he reminds me to keep my eyes on what’s in this for me: hopefully, at the end of the day, a good living that is compensation for the work that I do!

@à la mode {Rebecca} — Hey, Bec! So glad you’re here. It’s that soulfulyo level of support you talk about that I think we’re all looking for. I find that truly creative people — people who see the world through a creative, interpretive, artistic lens — seem to thrive and blossom even without heaps of outside encouragement and approval. We create anyway, even when no one’s looking or telling us how cool whatever we’re doing is. But of course it’s lovely to have those people around us, too! You are totally blessed to have those voices of support in your life. And I love that you say “yes” where the naysayers want to doubt or diminish. I feel sorry that some people have no vision!

@Rebecca – Don’t know what my fingers meant by mistyping “soulfulyo level of support.” Hmm.

Hi Abby!

It’s taken me DOUBLING my husband’s salary for him & his family to take my business seriously. And we still have fights about the “luxury” of working from home. Needless to say, sometimes all I want is to be able to work in an office with supportive colleagues.

Luckily, I get a ton of support from my own family and I have made some great business friends online that always keep me going.

With the exception of family (sometimes), I think if your friends & loved ones don’t take your business seriously, find new friends. You’re making your dreams come true – that’s something worth celebrating, not mocking.

Hey, Tara! –

I’m excited to have you here! Thanks for coming over.

I have an inkling that more and more, as the backlash against big box biz/corporations/economic monopolies strengthens and we see the resurgence of small, niche-y, cottage industries driving our economy, we’ll see people’s responses to “people who work form home” changing. No longer will it be looked on in any circles as a “fake” career. I’m glad to be jumping into the curve early. It’s a totally viable life/work option and I highly admire people like you who are doing what you love, banking on your passion, and seeing the rewards of profit.

By the way, Tara’s got two fantastic blogs that I highly recommend, one for people who identify with the indie, handmade movement, and one for small biz owners.

– Abby

I have to say that I’m impressed and blessed to see so many amazing woman commenting on this post and sharing their lives regarding being entrepreneurs! Ladies, you are such an encouragement to me and I wanted you all to know that.

Hats off to those of you who continue to press on even though you may not feel that you have the complete support of your families or spouses. You have way more drive than me…I’d have stopped on day one if my wife didn’t support me. Such amazing and strong women!!

Keep pressing on! Some of us see you and think you are brilliant and inspiring!!

As Janelle stated, I too come from a family of entrepreneurs. My father started his own radio/television shop in the 1940′s and went on to become a race horse owner/trainer. All of my siblings started their own businesses as well (except one who married a man with a pot of gold..haha) I am coming up on the 2nd anniversary as an indie retailer and I am blessed to have the support from my husband and daughter. My mother, who is 84 is always worried I am “working too hard”, and when I call her to tell her we had a $2000 day, her reply isn’t exactly what I hope for. It’s usually goes something like this -”you must be KIDDING!..what did you sell?..I just can’t believe it!” I guess I take that as : You must be kidding! You don’t have anything in your store that’s worth buying!” I know she’s proud of me so I really don’t let it get to me.

Hello! I have an antique store and am trying to get a sight up and running to sell some of my stuff. Only recently have I done anything the least bit creative at my store, but when it sells I am thrilled. So I am not sure if I qualify for this site or not. I am self employed. My immediate family is supportive, the rest think I work very little and anything I do online is, well, like it doesn’t count. We have had some bad financial things going on recently and the first thing my inlaws said was “Maybe Nicki could get a real job!”. My friends are great and very supportive, but sometimes they even doubt me, much like I doubt myself. Anyway………………………….. I think this should be very interesting! Nicki

@David — Thanks for the encouragement! It’s truly awesome to have the support of other creatively entrepreneurial friends. Although friends and family can be generally supportive, sometimes they are not of an entrepreneurial mindset themselves and don’t want to get dragged into all the details of what we do. It’s nice to know we can log onto our favorite blogs, Facebook, and Twitter and find support and encouragement there!

@Nancy — Your mom reminds me of my grandma. She visited my store only a couple times over the course of four years {despite being an avid shopper and living only 7 minutes away} and would tell her friends that I run a “novelty shop.” I’m sure they were picturing whoopie cushions and cotton candy.

Hi, Nicki! — You are most welcome here and I look forward to hearing more about your journey with your antique shop. Please let me know what types of content you’d find valuable around here.

I am so inspired by all the comments posted – from folks who have lots of experience and are receiving strong support and from those who could perhaps use a bit more (like me). My husband and son are my best supporters and my parents are supportive in their own way – but I often feel isolated and without the support and connection I desire. I have had these dreams within in me for so long and it has come to a point where I simply can’t imagine doing anything else but pursuing my creative passions. I have a deep desire to live my life authentically and am committed to this journey however being new to the entrepreneurial life, it is taking some time for things to fall in place. I am trusting in my intuition and slowly feel as though I am connecting to the people and places that are right for me.

Hey, Christine –

Glad you’re here! I checked out your profile & have to say I LOVE your vintage-styled goods business name {Misfit & Muse}. Makes me say YESSS!

I guess for all of us, part of the entrepreneurial journey is finding the support we need when we need it. Hope you find some quality connection here.

– Abby

Hi Christine, I just saw your items on etsy. So cool! The bracelets in particular, what a great idea! I keep trying to tap some creativity in myself lately which mostly seems to be doing displays in my store. Little by little I guess. Your stuff is great………Nicki

I feel like I haven’t had a great amount of support. My family doesn’t seem to understand my entrepreneurial desires. They don’t get it. Time & time again it’s been suggested to me that I “could always get an office job if the craft thing doesn’t work out.” Excuse me? I kid you not! I feel like my family does not even know me or has no desire to get to know me! It is so offensive & when I voice my opinion about my life & my choices, it doesn’t seem to get through. They’re very traditional, I guess – unable to understand working for anything but a regular salary. I know they just want the best for me, but they don’t get it, and I don’t think they ever will. It’s been hard & emotional, but I stand my ground & I’ll do my own thing.
I feel some encouragement from friends but what I am finding is that I receive the MOST support from new friends through networking.

Hey, Cassandra –

I empathize! I think that a lot of people buy into what our friend David Crandall {see him above in the comments, encouraging everybody} calls the “template life.” You go to school, possibly to college, get a job, achieve security, pay your bills, live the dream. We don’t even notice that we’re dependent on somebody else {read: a company or organization} to support our lifestyle. Then, when said company or org goes poof, the dream is busted. Of course, that can happen for self-employed people, too, but I think the entrepreneurial spirit is inherently inventive, flexible, and adaptable, and we find ways to bounce back. There’s such freedom in not having to depend on someone else or someone else’s vision to sustain your livelihood! I commend you for daring to take a chance on what you love to do. There’s tremendous power and possibility in that! Stick around — you’ll find more than a few peers here who feel the same way.

– Abby

I’d have to say that initially I got a few disbelieving looks, and questions of what do you DO exactly… but since proving I can support myself and my kiddies, everyone has changed their tune!

Cori –

What still astounds me is that people our age who use the internet daily for any number of things are still utterly confounded by the fact that everyday people can build a business via the internet and have it support their lifestyle. Some of my friends still give me very confused, concerned, almost suspicious looks when I explain to them what I’m doing and how.

– Abby

I know!! It’s actually pretty funny, I usually get a kick out of trying to explain what I do for a living. lol.. and this is to folks my own age mind you, and sometimes younger! It’s amazing how few people realize there is so much power literally right at their fingertips.